sun through the window shines in squares on the floor through my mind into nothing but a feeling a longing a person a thought of a million pieces of slivered glass melted together in a mosaic of colors like a rainbow in the sky smiling over the ocean water caressing my body beneath the facade constructed with waves lapping the shore searching for freedom in the grains of sand between my toes healing the soul as they scratch like drugs in my veins elevating me above the darkness found between the squares of light in my life.
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
who let me major in criminal justice anyway?
it feels like i wrote this a lifetime ago, but it was really only back in March of 2004 during Criminal Justice Seminar. i had stream of consciousness on the brain.
sun through the window shines in squares on the floor through my mind into nothing but a feeling a longing a person a thought of a million pieces of slivered glass melted together in a mosaic of colors like a rainbow in the sky smiling over the ocean water caressing my body beneath the facade constructed with waves lapping the shore searching for freedom in the grains of sand between my toes healing the soul as they scratch like drugs in my veins elevating me above the darkness found between the squares of light in my life.
sun through the window shines in squares on the floor through my mind into nothing but a feeling a longing a person a thought of a million pieces of slivered glass melted together in a mosaic of colors like a rainbow in the sky smiling over the ocean water caressing my body beneath the facade constructed with waves lapping the shore searching for freedom in the grains of sand between my toes healing the soul as they scratch like drugs in my veins elevating me above the darkness found between the squares of light in my life.
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
great zeus' beard! this is a long one!
today i was watching something that i taped off of TV a few years back. you know, that time long, long ago before TiVo? i was working on the computer at the same time (hooray for multitasking!) so i wasn't fast-forwarding through the commercials. i looked up during a commercial break, and, forgetting for a minute that i had a tape in, i became confused at why i was watching a promo for "The Mummy Returns". that's when i started paying less attention to my work and more attention to the commercials.
maybe it's because i am an advertising major, but looking back on old commercials is almost like opening up a time capsule of trends, fads, TV shows, movies, businesses and news flashes long forgotten. during this specific video my favorites were promos for "Dark Angel" (oh, jon.), that car commercial with the hipster people in the car grooving along to "start the commotion" and a promo for the 11pm news that said "he's been in office for 100 days, hear what some local politicians have to say about the presidency of george w. bush." i would give anything to see that report.
so what this has all brought me to is the contemplation of what devices like TiVo, DVR and DVD mean not only to the future of advertising, a hot topic of the moment, but also for the history of advertising and of popular culture. what happens when we are no longer witnesses to the past? maybe it doesn't mean all that much since most people who have taped anything off of TV usually fast forward through the commercials anyway, but i can't help feeling that something is being lost in computer chips and lasers. i guess i am just mourning the loss of the unexpected gems that can be found when doing things the "old fashioned" way. the constant investigator in me loves to touch for myself and uncover and discover things i had forgotten about.
sometimes even just a commercial or a newsbreak from long ago can hold new meaning in the present. have you ever watched a movie you haven't seen in years and realized that character you had only envisioned in your head as an unknown actor is now someone who has become famous? for me it is a strange but great feeling like a light bulb being flicked on or a piece of a puzzle fitting itself into its correct position in my brain. the actor in that movie now has a face and an identity instead of just identifying features, and that can make the old movie something entirely new to be re-experienced. for me, it is a great phenomena, and watching some of those old commercials feels the same way to me.
i can even still remember very vividly a commercial that was taped onto a video by my parents when they recorded mary poppins for me. i must have watched that movie hundreds of times as a kid, mostly without skipping the commercial breaks. to this day i can see a little blonde girl sitting in a pretty white dress singing about oscar meyer weiners and how her mom doesn't let her eat them without a bib since they are so juicy and she can't ruin her dress. you know who it turns out that little girl was? the girl who eventually played stephanie tanner, pre-Full House. if my parents had just bought me a recording of that movie i wouldn't have that memory of how i liked that commercial and i would have never made the discovery later in life of who that girl was. i guess that really sounds like a trite thing to feel people will miss out on when watching everything on DVD, but it makes me wonder that maybe it's these little moments in our lives we lose that start to add up under our noses and leave us feeling less than thrilled with our human experience; that we don't stop long enough to discover and appreciate the "ah-has!" of life anymore.
i know this random reflection on something as insignificant as the loss of an obviously inferior form of TV recording seems out of character me. after all, i am the same person who, on most days, would curl into the fetal position on the bus floor if someone were to take away my iPod and the person who often refers to my powerbook as "my baby." i also don't really know where all this is heading or what conclusions i'm trying to make here. maybe i'm just trying to justify my desire to hold on to the shows and movies i have taped off the tv.
the other weird thing i find myself doing (which may be slightly related to the rest of this random tangent i am currently boring you with), is when a movie or something comes on tv that i own on dvd or vhs i still want to watch it on tv. i can own it and not watch it forever, but the minute it's on tv i'll get excited and find myself watching it. could i avoid the hassle of commercials by putting in the actual movie? yes. do i do it? no. does that make me weird? probably. is this news to any of you? probably not. =P
so if you're still reading this post , congratulations to you. i'd give you a prize for making it to the end, but i don't know who you are. so instead, you win my appreciation! awww. don't you feel good now? oh wait, here' are fun quotes from an episode of will and grace i saw the other day, you win that.
Jack (singing to karen): Karen and Milo sittin' in a tree K-I-S-I-N-G.....wait?
Jack (on a soccer field dancing around, not paying attention): Here I am. I'm the mean machine. I'm fast and lean. I'm....what rhymes with lean? Penis? Hahahahaha. I just said penis.
maybe it's because i am an advertising major, but looking back on old commercials is almost like opening up a time capsule of trends, fads, TV shows, movies, businesses and news flashes long forgotten. during this specific video my favorites were promos for "Dark Angel" (oh, jon.), that car commercial with the hipster people in the car grooving along to "start the commotion" and a promo for the 11pm news that said "he's been in office for 100 days, hear what some local politicians have to say about the presidency of george w. bush." i would give anything to see that report. so what this has all brought me to is the contemplation of what devices like TiVo, DVR and DVD mean not only to the future of advertising, a hot topic of the moment, but also for the history of advertising and of popular culture. what happens when we are no longer witnesses to the past? maybe it doesn't mean all that much since most people who have taped anything off of TV usually fast forward through the commercials anyway, but i can't help feeling that something is being lost in computer chips and lasers. i guess i am just mourning the loss of the unexpected gems that can be found when doing things the "old fashioned" way. the constant investigator in me loves to touch for myself and uncover and discover things i had forgotten about.
sometimes even just a commercial or a newsbreak from long ago can hold new meaning in the present. have you ever watched a movie you haven't seen in years and realized that character you had only envisioned in your head as an unknown actor is now someone who has become famous? for me it is a strange but great feeling like a light bulb being flicked on or a piece of a puzzle fitting itself into its correct position in my brain. the actor in that movie now has a face and an identity instead of just identifying features, and that can make the old movie something entirely new to be re-experienced. for me, it is a great phenomena, and watching some of those old commercials feels the same way to me.
i can even still remember very vividly a commercial that was taped onto a video by my parents when they recorded mary poppins for me. i must have watched that movie hundreds of times as a kid, mostly without skipping the commercial breaks. to this day i can see a little blonde girl sitting in a pretty white dress singing about oscar meyer weiners and how her mom doesn't let her eat them without a bib since they are so juicy and she can't ruin her dress. you know who it turns out that little girl was? the girl who eventually played stephanie tanner, pre-Full House. if my parents had just bought me a recording of that movie i wouldn't have that memory of how i liked that commercial and i would have never made the discovery later in life of who that girl was. i guess that really sounds like a trite thing to feel people will miss out on when watching everything on DVD, but it makes me wonder that maybe it's these little moments in our lives we lose that start to add up under our noses and leave us feeling less than thrilled with our human experience; that we don't stop long enough to discover and appreciate the "ah-has!" of life anymore.i know this random reflection on something as insignificant as the loss of an obviously inferior form of TV recording seems out of character me. after all, i am the same person who, on most days, would curl into the fetal position on the bus floor if someone were to take away my iPod and the person who often refers to my powerbook as "my baby." i also don't really know where all this is heading or what conclusions i'm trying to make here. maybe i'm just trying to justify my desire to hold on to the shows and movies i have taped off the tv.
the other weird thing i find myself doing (which may be slightly related to the rest of this random tangent i am currently boring you with), is when a movie or something comes on tv that i own on dvd or vhs i still want to watch it on tv. i can own it and not watch it forever, but the minute it's on tv i'll get excited and find myself watching it. could i avoid the hassle of commercials by putting in the actual movie? yes. do i do it? no. does that make me weird? probably. is this news to any of you? probably not. =P
so if you're still reading this post , congratulations to you. i'd give you a prize for making it to the end, but i don't know who you are. so instead, you win my appreciation! awww. don't you feel good now? oh wait, here' are fun quotes from an episode of will and grace i saw the other day, you win that.
Jack (singing to karen): Karen and Milo sittin' in a tree K-I-S-I-N-G.....wait?
Jack (on a soccer field dancing around, not paying attention): Here I am. I'm the mean machine. I'm fast and lean. I'm....what rhymes with lean? Penis? Hahahahaha. I just said penis.
Thursday, November 24, 2005
my recipe for a successful holiday with the family:
1 glass of Chardonnay1 glass of Cabernet Sauvignon
1 coffee with Disaronno
1 Belloton on the rocks
2 madras*
add to previous mixture of patience, thick-skin, "amused" laugh and deep breathing, stir and enjoy. always a party favorite. try it at your next family affair.
*any of these ingedients may be substituted with almost anything from the liquor store and enjoyed at any serving size, or straight from the bottle.
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
evil-allison: more sarcastic than the original........ you've been warned.
i have decided that i'm not going to check away messages when i'm bored anymore because those are minutes of my life that i can never get back. also, if i have to read one more lovey-dovey piece of crap written to someone's significant other i'm going to yak (or yack? whichever one doesn't mean a hairy llama-looking animal). and i know that's just the reaction i have because i am bitter about not having someone in my life to write about (HELLO i don't have a degree in psychology for nothing). but you know what? right now making fun of mushy couples makes me feel better about myself and i'm not afraid to admit it. so happy holidays and super early valentines day you fuckers. go find a bear-skin rug and sing "let it snow" or something. i give you all premission to make fun of me when i become a heart-melting mess, but until then, shut it.p.s. those of you getting married, disregard this message. i don't hold anything against you or your happiness and, ironically (crap, i can't spell), you are the ones without the insessant IM declarations.
p.s.s. i really love all of u. soooo much. you are my <3s 4-eva.
haha. sorry, couldn't resist.
*this message brought to you by evil-allison: when good allison just won't do.
"What's waiting for us? Loneliness! And then 365 more shopping days til even MORE loneliness!" -Mulder, The X-Files, "The Ghosts Who Stole Christmas"
Sunday, November 20, 2005
something funny i just remembered
this is a conversation that took place in the car last weekend when my parents and nicole came to visit:
dad: i was channel surfing the other day and on VH1 there was this new Black Eyed Peas Song, My Humpy Humps or something.
me: Yea dad, My Humps
dad: What's with that song?! I know those Black Eyed Peas are good, but they're kinda out there huh?
ha. i love getting my dad's opinion on random pop culture stuff.
dad: i was channel surfing the other day and on VH1 there was this new Black Eyed Peas Song, My Humpy Humps or something.
me: Yea dad, My Humps
dad: What's with that song?! I know those Black Eyed Peas are good, but they're kinda out there huh?
ha. i love getting my dad's opinion on random pop culture stuff.
Thursday, November 17, 2005
i'm a fucking genius
i am going to go work at VH1 because i have then best show idea ever. wait for it....
"i love i love the 80s"!!!
it won't come out until it's once again cool to admit you liked "i love the 80s" and it'll be made in the same format as i love the 80s, 90s, 70s and holidays editions. however, it will be your NEW favorite half-celebrities waxing nostaligic about all those old half-celebrities making fun of that crazy decade, the 80s! just imagine the commentary made about michael ian black talking about "the goonies" and doing the truffle shuffle! or remember the time when brian boitano was talking about "pee wee's big adventure" and then he did the "tequila" dance? that was awesome.
see what i mean? it just never gets old.
you KNOW that the only thing better than reminiscing about crazy 80s hair is remembering how funny it was to watch OTHER people make fun of crazy 80s hair! haha, aquanet. wasn't it just the best when daisy fuentes told everyone about how she used to mooch hair spray off of girls in the bathroom to get her hair 80s-tastic!
by then big-ass hair will even be back in and then they can make fun of how stupid all those commentators were for dissing those hair styles when CLEARLY their long, straight hair and sidebangs were really the worst. who let them on TV that way?!
and where were you when you first saw "i love the 80s"? dakota fanning remebers that she was in her trailer on the set of "i am sam" and couldn't stop laughing at all the crazy things that she wasn't even alive for! hahahaha. but she loved "i love the 80s" anyway.
"i love i love the 80s"! isn't it fun to remember the remembering!?
oh, i am so getting rich from this idea.
just you wait.
"i love i love the 80s"!!!
it won't come out until it's once again cool to admit you liked "i love the 80s" and it'll be made in the same format as i love the 80s, 90s, 70s and holidays editions. however, it will be your NEW favorite half-celebrities waxing nostaligic about all those old half-celebrities making fun of that crazy decade, the 80s! just imagine the commentary made about michael ian black talking about "the goonies" and doing the truffle shuffle! or remember the time when brian boitano was talking about "pee wee's big adventure" and then he did the "tequila" dance? that was awesome. see what i mean? it just never gets old.
you KNOW that the only thing better than reminiscing about crazy 80s hair is remembering how funny it was to watch OTHER people make fun of crazy 80s hair! haha, aquanet. wasn't it just the best when daisy fuentes told everyone about how she used to mooch hair spray off of girls in the bathroom to get her hair 80s-tastic!
by then big-ass hair will even be back in and then they can make fun of how stupid all those commentators were for dissing those hair styles when CLEARLY their long, straight hair and sidebangs were really the worst. who let them on TV that way?!
and where were you when you first saw "i love the 80s"? dakota fanning remebers that she was in her trailer on the set of "i am sam" and couldn't stop laughing at all the crazy things that she wasn't even alive for! hahahaha. but she loved "i love the 80s" anyway.
"i love i love the 80s"! isn't it fun to remember the remembering!?
oh, i am so getting rich from this idea.
just you wait.
what's happenin' hot stuff
listening to: my latest CD mix, including Death Cab, Joe Purdy, Jason Mraz and Gary Jules.reading: The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle
watching: LOST, Family Guy and The X-Files: Season 7
eating: sunflower seeds.
drinking: gin and tonics (not an everyday thing, just my drink of choice right now)
searching for: a boy (what else is new?), something to believe in.
happy about: the warm weather, my volunteer work, learning to clear my head.
not so happy about: senioritis, theory paper, being broke, problems with my camera, back pain.excited for: Harry Potter 4, Christmas decorations/music, Cancun, weddings.
missing: summer, CLR, dancing, malibu.
what's next: Boston Youth Moves, more job searching, the comps, a graduate degree, the future = wide open.
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
it's my birthday yay!
absolutely the best birthday weekend ever:
free food at work, beckysue, alicia, GUSTER, jesus on the radio unplugged, breakfast with steph, showing beckysue boston, the sad jack 'o lantern, pottery barn story time and sing along, light saber fight, cheesecake factory,
birthday gin, the peter griffin bump, erin's dance grooves, jake ivorys, brick house dance, crazy COM kids, double fisting G&Ts, can't touch me, mac and cheese, masachusetts: you're more likely to live here (x3), the airport, my parents and nicole, legal seafood, "remember when you used to be afraid of parades?", "i'm a fucking genius", napoleon dynamite flip book and new family guy.
love to everyone who made this weekend a blast. i couldn't have asked for more fun and more friends to share my birthday with. thanks also to those who called to wish me a happy day, i wish you could have been here celebrating. next time! =)
finally...halloween pics!
ok, so the three of us dressed up as the girl versions of our three guy friends who threw the party. i definitely lucked out with the best one.
one of my favorite costumes - "show 'em my motto!"
i do an ice luge
kelly and erin take a turn
double your kilt-wearing, nose-ring having, goth make-up fun!
Monday, November 07, 2005
all these places feel like home
i know i said i was going to post pictures of the halloween party and i am, just not right now. sorry.
instead i'm going to talk about my trip to elmira (my alma mater) this past weekend. i went to visit one of my best friends, caryn (i don't know if you read this, but hi anyway), who is in her senior year. plus all the other crazy-ass-dancer-hos that i love and miss. it wasn't a super exciting visit as far as events go, but it was a great weekend with movies, dancing, chilling and even a lunch date with sara. =) excitement is over-rated anyway. i've found that some of the best days are those in which nothing important happens. they give you time to actually stop and realize how lucky you are.
something else i realized while at e.c. this time was that it isn't weird going back there anymore. all the previous times i've visited have resulted in many surreal moments that happen when i'm walking old paths toward my former apartment or the dance studio and i get the feeling as if i haven't left yet, that i still live there. it is a brief second of hallucinatory time travel in a brain that after four years is accustomed to seeing everything as a student, not a visitor. and in all the times i visited before this, i wished these were not just brief moments, but that i were back there. i wanted all my friends still in one place, i wanted the certainty of myself in the world of purple and gold, and most of all, i wanted the comfort of a place that feels like home.
it's not that i don't want some of those things still. (believe me, if i could build a complex that would house all of my favorite people from elmira college and beyond in one place, i would.) but this visit, while it made me miss the people i love and remember the times we had, didn't make me want to be back. instead, there was a peace in being there that i haven't felt before. i was comfortable with being a visitor, and when i left i didn't feel like i was leaving part of my heart behind (as it did so many other times since graduation day). i now realize that things won't ever be the same as they were while i was there, but that i can still enjoy just being where i was always so comfortable, so me. and although it may not be the place i live anymore, it will always be home.
be. it. ever. so.
.
instead i'm going to talk about my trip to elmira (my alma mater) this past weekend. i went to visit one of my best friends, caryn (i don't know if you read this, but hi anyway), who is in her senior year. plus all the other crazy-ass-dancer-hos that i love and miss. it wasn't a super exciting visit as far as events go, but it was a great weekend with movies, dancing, chilling and even a lunch date with sara. =) excitement is over-rated anyway. i've found that some of the best days are those in which nothing important happens. they give you time to actually stop and realize how lucky you are.
something else i realized while at e.c. this time was that it isn't weird going back there anymore. all the previous times i've visited have resulted in many surreal moments that happen when i'm walking old paths toward my former apartment or the dance studio and i get the feeling as if i haven't left yet, that i still live there. it is a brief second of hallucinatory time travel in a brain that after four years is accustomed to seeing everything as a student, not a visitor. and in all the times i visited before this, i wished these were not just brief moments, but that i were back there. i wanted all my friends still in one place, i wanted the certainty of myself in the world of purple and gold, and most of all, i wanted the comfort of a place that feels like home.
it's not that i don't want some of those things still. (believe me, if i could build a complex that would house all of my favorite people from elmira college and beyond in one place, i would.) but this visit, while it made me miss the people i love and remember the times we had, didn't make me want to be back. instead, there was a peace in being there that i haven't felt before. i was comfortable with being a visitor, and when i left i didn't feel like i was leaving part of my heart behind (as it did so many other times since graduation day). i now realize that things won't ever be the same as they were while i was there, but that i can still enjoy just being where i was always so comfortable, so me. and although it may not be the place i live anymore, it will always be home. be. it. ever. so.
.
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