lent update #3: i suck at doing lent updates

so, lent is almost over and i've only posted twice about my goal of giving up junk food. some of you may think this is because i failed. you would be wrong. i think instead it's just become part of my life so i haven't really had anything interesting to say about it. now that easter is upon me, i have started thinking about eating junk food more. i just know that if i want to have it in a couple of days, i can. this thought also scares me. i am worried that once i start eating it again, things will get bad. it's hard, because i really haven't lost as much weight from doing it as i though i should have, and things like that fuck with my brain. the true test, however, will be getting on my mom's official electric weight watchers scale, because i bought a cheap manual one that i don't trust. i was home a few weekends ago and weighed myself then, so i will have something to compare it to when i go home again tomorrow.

also, i haven't worked out in a long time because the past two weeks i was too busy getting down with the sickness. i'm pretty sure Bally's doesn't really appreciate their members coughing and snotting all over their eliptical machines. when i get back from easter weekend, though, i've got to get my ass back in gear because there are weddings and graduations and shows and beach weather to think about. if that doesn't motivate me, nothing will. so i may have succeeded at my short term goal, but i now have to use it to help me achieve what i want for the long term.


"just take a breath, jump over the side"

lent update #2: minimize me

the other day i watched the anti-mcdonalds, pro-health documentary Supersize Me. i had added it to my netflicks list far before i decided to give up junk food for lent, but it couldn't have come at a more appropriate time. it's not that i really eat mcdonald's or any similar fast food that much. however, watching the film has definitely reinforced the idea that i should NEVER be eating mcdonalds, and that processed foods in general are unhealthy. it has me thinking that the extra expense to shop for food at whole foods markets may be worth it. kelly bought some stuff from there recently and when i looked at the ingredients on the cereal i could read and spell everything. no artificial flavors, preservatives or multi-syllabic chemical additives to be found. there is no contesting the idea that this must be better for us to eat.

it is the 19th day of lent and i have not eaten junk food. i have twice turned down "taco bell sunday" (erin's favorite day), ordered steamed chicken and broccoli and white rice for chinese and refused kelly's offers of fruitsnacks. i constantly drink water and have tried to up my exercise regimen, which can be the most difficult for me. unfortunately, i have not lost any weight. none. i have also not gained any, which i suppose is good, but i hope that my body has just been readjusting and i will soon see the results in the drop of the needle. if anything, i can say for sure that i FEEL better, and that, of course, is the most important thing and what will hopefully keep me going.


p.s. if you rent Super Size Me you have to watch one of the bonus features called "The Smoking Fry", you will never want to put McDonald's french fries in your body again.

Lent update #1

it has been 6 days since i gave up junk food and i am happy to report that i am succeeding so far. i don't think i've even looked twice at the bucket (yes, bucket) of lindt truffles in the kitchen since friday. well, not twice in a row anyway. i realize that i do have this compulsion to reach for the junk and i find myself looking at it to eat, but now instead of just grabbing it without thinking, i glance at it once, the thought runs through my mind, but i stay away. i am an extremely determined person when it comes to setting my mind to accomplish something that i want, however, thus far that determination has never successfully been tapped into when it comes to food. there has always been too much temptation and not enough motivation. i want to hope that this new self-control i am experiencing through this goal i have set for myself will lead to a lifetime of better eating habits, not just 90 days. when i used to go to weight watchers, the people who were most successful always talked about how they had to see their "diet" as a life-long change and not just a period of time when they would stop eating bad foods. only then did things click into place for them and they were able to lead healthier lives, indefinitely. i want to believe that i am working towards making that change. i hope i am. i really do.

fat tuesday

more like fat everyday. ok, i know. "don't be so hard on yourself." blah blah blah. yea, it's time i started being harder on myself. i am definitely 20 lbs heavier than i was when i graduated college and 40 lbs heavier than i want to be. "if you lose 40 pounds you won't even be there anymore!" oh trust me, i will be. i'll probably still even wear a double digit dress size. no kidding. so, in honor of the season of lent, i am giving up ALL junk food. i'm not even catholic. but i did it during my senior year of high school and succeeded, so i sure as hell should be able to do it now that i am a much more mature version of myself. that is why, in mature adult fashion, i am posting it on my blog so that the possible embarrassment of failing this endeavor publicly will keep me away from the junk.

when i told erin, my roommate, of my plan, she wanted me to define what i meant by "junkfood", since everyone probably has a different definition. hers only includes candy and chips, that skinny bitch. (loooove you.)
however, mine will be a bit more strict and also includes:
- any snacky food with no nutritional value - cheez its, fruit snacks, granola bars with gooey stuff in them
- fast food (excluding the healthy options at subway and quiznos)
- anything fried
- nachos
- ice cream
- sweets - cookies, candy, regular soda (which i don't really drink anyway)
- mac and cheese
- chocolate
- super buttered popcorn
- chinese food except white rice and things with vegetables

I will allow myself pizza on occassion, fat-free chocolate pudding, light popcorn, diet soda, and sugar free, fat free vanilla ice cream (mostly because I have a lot left in the freezer).

so, mostly this is a diet, but i guess i'd rather see it as a goal to make it through without these things, and maybe by the end i won't want even really want them anymore. unlike sr. year of high school when lent ended while i was in spain and nicole had brought half a suitcase full of easter candy with her. when dinner is the slab of meat you just saw hanging in the window by a hook, sugared marshmallow birds look damn tasty. (p.s. isn't the Peep inside the chocolate egg such a good idea?!)

lastly, on a more serious note, i want to try to make this time not ALL about losing weight, but partially about what Lenten is for, traditionaly (and i'm not really referring to all the religious ideaology). therefore, i will also be working on feeling better about the way i look no matter what. i realize that even with weight gone it may not mean i will like myself any more.

well, wish me luck in all respects. i will keep you updated on my progress and any possible setbacks.
wow, aren't you excited?! haha.

i never promised this blog would be interesting, and my plan to keep that non-promise is going splendidly.



coming soon: "orange you happy to see me?: test-running my new self-tanner"