I Hate People

Especially those that try to ruin their kid's life by attempting to name them something totally ridiculous just to challenge the status quo and see how far they can stretch their rights.

Stop using your kid to prove to the world how much of a douchebag you are. I'm sure you were doing well enough on your own.

The Most Hate-Filled, Disrespectful, Ignorant Thing I Have Heard in a Long Time

Below is the rotten shit that poured forth from former Miami Heat point guard Tim Hardaway's mouth during a recent radio show interview. The hosts were discussing the coming-out of former NBA player John Amaechi and the release of his autobiography.

"You know, I hate gay people, so I let it be known. I don't like gay people and I don't like to be around gay people," Hardaway said while a guest on Sports Talk 790 The Ticket in Miami. "I'm homophobic. I don't like it. It shouldn't be in the world or in the United States."

The host asked Hardaway how he would interact with a gay teammate.

"First of all, I wouldn't want him on my team. And second of all, if he was on my team, I would, you know, really distance myself from him because, uh, I don't think that is right. I don't think he should be in the locker room while we are in the locker room."

If he did find out that a teammate was gay, Hardaway said he would ask for the player to be removed from the team.

"Something has to give," Hardaway said. "If you have 12 other ballplayers in your locker room that's upset and can't concentrate and always worried about him in the locker room or on the court or whatever, it's going to be hard for your teammates to win and accept him as a teammate." SI.com

And here is his "apology" regarding the incident:

"Yes, I regret it. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said I hate gay people or anything like that," he said. "That was my mistake."

The NBA also issued a statement where they duly noted the "disparity between his views and ours."

Way to really put your foot down and take a strong stance on the issue NBA. You don't necessarily condone homophobia, but hell, you're not about to condemn it either! You wouldn't want to alienate your target audience now would you?

Well NBA, here's an exercise for you: read the same quote and every time you see the words "gay" or "homophobic" replace them with "black" and "racist". I'll give you a minute......

Sounds like we're back in the 40s or 50s doesn't it? Can you imagine the public outrage and strong dissenting statement the NBA would have issued if THAT were to come out of someones mouth on a radio show interview today? And rightly so. It is offensive and racist. Well, so is the real version.

It is a disconcerting and horrifying reminder of the lengths this country still needs to go in the "all men created equal" department. You would think that 231 years would be enough to get it right, but we are obviously so far off from that it is ridiculous.

So, in this month to celebrate black history and the strides society has taken in the fight for equal rights, let's not forget how far we still need to go, for the sake of all people.

I'm the F to the U, R, K the E, Y

It's that time of year again!

No, I'm not talking about the crap with the big fat man and the mistletoe, although it is obviously that time too. What I'm talking about is list time. This is when EVERYONE and their mother comes out with a list of "The Best __________ of 2006!" Comedy Central already had their Last Laugh, MTV's probably gearing up for their TRL special of "The Top 50 Videos of 2006 You Would Have Seen on MTV if We Ever Played Videos" and I'm sure E! will be having a craptacular blow-out of "The Top 100 List of List Shows We Filled Our Dead Air With in 2006 Because We Can't Create Any Quality Programming Other than The Soup!!!" (note the extra punctuation to show just how excited they are about their jobs).

Joking aside, we all know that I love lists. So, apart from having to bear the ones that make me want to stick sharp objects in my eye (thank you E!), I am a fan of this time of year in all its listy-ness.

Today's list is brought to us by Rolling Stone (they like lists too, but not as much as those people at Billboard). It is "The 100 Best Songs of 2006" list. And I am sad to say that I must have sucked at life when it came to finding good music this year, because I missed a lot of these. I guess its time to catch up!

I also don't buy some of these tracks as being the best the music world had to offer this year. You can read more of my opinions below about some of the selections, but I just have to say -


Some observations I have after perusing the list are:

1. Is "Ridin" really the #3 best song of the whole entire 365 days of 2006? It must have been a slow year in music.

2. The song that I claimed as mine earlier in the year, The Dixie Chicks' "The Long Way Around" is in the top 20 yall! Holla!
Oh, god. I did not just say holla. Kill me.

3. "When the Sun Goes Down" by The Arctic Monkeys was a killer song that I listened to a lot this year. Yay for Monkeys!

4. If there's no possible way to avoid it entirely, the only way I can handle listening to the song "Promiscuous" is to stick sharp objects in my ears and then just dance to the bassline. Definitely not in my top 100.

5. On snap! "London (Fucking) Bridge"!! Are you kidding me?!?!!! (extra punctuation to show how much that song should NOT be on this list). I could handle "Fergalicious", maybe. But probably only because its easy to make into Furkalicious and my friends like to sing it to me at the bar.

6. Anyone who likes pop-punk/emo music and hasn't heard the whole Panic! at the Disco album, go get it right now. It's like a storming infectious-beat soap opera from beginning to end. I'm happy to see my favorite track "The Only Difference Between Martyrdom and Suicide is Press Coverage" at #84.


Lastly, where is "Cable Car", "Crooked Teeth", "Black Horse and the Cherry Tree"? And what about stuff from Weezer? They were all over the radio this year.

Just my 2 cents.

I'm sure they missed some of your favorites too.

the fcc can derelicte my BALLS

comedy central just bleeped out the word "balls" from Zoolander, but in the past week i've been the unwilling witness to the slow-motion loogie hawk from "Flavor of Love" about a zillion times on every entertainment clip show. and don't even get me started on the 50 ads i just had to sit through for girls and guys gone wild (a topic that needs a post all its own). i think we have bigger problems here than hearing about someone's cohones.

bottom line: i am confused by the fcc.






bottom, bottom line: there's more to life than being really really really good looking.

behold, the power of kentucky

on my way home from the gym tonight i was about ready to blow up at all the crazy, stupid, boston rush-hour drivers that surrounded me, as well as all the harvard kids crossing the damn street at the same fricken time in a steady stream that lasted about 5 minutes. luckily, at the moment when i starting thinking it would be a good thing for the suv in front of me to take out one of those preppy, ivy-leaguers so we could get this show on the road, i noticed that same suv had a kentucky licence plate and suddenly, all was right with the world.

if you haven't ever seen a kentucky licence plate i have posted a picture here, because it is by far the best one in the country and it must make road rage obsolete in that state. there's no way you can see that licence plate and remain angry about anything. i want to hang it in my room. maybe i'll tattoo it on myself somewhere so i can take a quick look at it whenever someone's pissing me off. maybe we should all tattoo it somewhere and then the world would be a happier place. i think president bush should get one right on his forehead, then i might actually smile when i see him. it might even help his approval rating. okay, so that's stretching it, but maybe other countries won't hate us as much when they get a look at that big, smiling sun and our country's new slogan:

"USA: It's that friendly."


well, a girl can dream.

evil-allison: more sarcastic than the original........ you've been warned.

i have decided that i'm not going to check away messages when i'm bored anymore because those are minutes of my life that i can never get back. also, if i have to read one more lovey-dovey piece of crap written to someone's significant other i'm going to yak (or yack? whichever one doesn't mean a hairy llama-looking animal). and i know that's just the reaction i have because i am bitter about not having someone in my life to write about (HELLO i don't have a degree in psychology for nothing). but you know what? right now making fun of mushy couples makes me feel better about myself and i'm not afraid to admit it. so happy holidays and super early valentines day you fuckers. go find a bear-skin rug and sing "let it snow" or something. i give you all premission to make fun of me when i become a heart-melting mess, but until then, shut it.

p.s. those of you getting married, disregard this message. i don't hold anything against you or your happiness and, ironically (crap, i can't spell), you are the ones without the insessant IM declarations.

p.s.s. i really love all of u. soooo much. you are my <3s 4-eva.

haha. sorry, couldn't resist.



*this message brought to you by evil-allison: when good allison just won't do.



"What's waiting for us? Loneliness! And then 365 more shopping days til even MORE loneliness!" -Mulder, The X-Files, "The Ghosts Who Stole Christmas"

the happiest town on earth?

tonight i was writing a take-home quiz for my contemporary mass media class, debunking an argument of the anti-FOX news documentary "outfoxed." to create my argument that the documentary never talked about the other big media companies and how they present news, i was looking up information about newscorp (the big parent company of FOX and about 100 other media outlets) and the rest of the "big five" (for those who aren't communication students, the "big five" are the five largest media companies in the world and basically own and control everything we watch, read, hear and see - aol/time warner, GE-nbc universal, viacom-MTV anyone?, newscorp - FOX, and everyone's favorite, disney).

so, i find this great site that outlines all the ownership of these companies (p.s. it is a little outdated - i.e. ge/nbc recently merged with universal). at the bottom of disney's entry it says "celebration, florida, a 4,900-acre town." i'm thinking, another resort area set up like a town or a place where disney world "cast members" live. but, of course i have to know for sure so, like everything else, i google it. what do i find? this.

it's a real town! but it's not like it's real. it's like stepford real. it's like pleasantville real. you can buy a house there or an aparment or a condo. it's all on the site. plus there's a hospital and public schools with subjects like horticulture and a community intranet that keeps you updated on town events. Oh, and my favorite part is in the town press release area - "snow returns to celebration". and just in case you can't link there for some reason i'll copy my favorite part right here:

"The day after Thanksgiving is known as one of the busiest shopping days of the year. But in Celebration, the day marks another tradition – the beginning of Celebration’s Nightly Snowfall down MARKET STREET. The snow begins Friday, November 28 at 6, 7, 8, and 9 p.m. for ten minutes and repeats every night until New Year’s Eve."

WHAT?!?! are you kidding me!? the town even has fake snow! i don't know whether to call the FBI to look into this place or start saving up for one of its $1,000,000 houses.

but really, i don't know about a major corporation owning my town. just think about that. think of your home town and now imagine mcdonalds owns it or warner brothers or, hey, disney. there has to be some sort of a catch. does the hamburglar show up for dinner unexpectedly? do they use your main street as a giant movie set whenever they feel like it? is your swimming pool not suitable for laps with all the rounded edges that make up the mouse ears?

maybe i'm just old fashioned, but i think i like my towns synergy/product integration/media congolmerate free, at least for the time-being.