Time Travel is Way Cooler in a DeLorean

This morning on the bus, the electric banner that scrolls the time and date for the passengers read February 21, 2026. For a minute I thought I might have woken up on the wrong side of the Twilight Zone. Then I realized my bus wasn't flying and my iPod was still a separate entity from my body, so I figured some drunken MBTA worker must have programed the bus this morning. That made me feel a whole lot better.

To get my mind off of drunken bus operators, I was pondering what the year 2026 might be like. I will be 44, which is the worst thing I've ever heard. And that's about all I can really say about the 2-6er (what I think we should call the years by then). So, I decided that if there's anything out there that I think could look into the future 19 years and bring me back a glimpse of the world it would have to be Google. Surely the omnipotent master of the cyber-universe would find me the answers.

Turns out Google is just the pimp and Wikipedia is its bitch. The first page on my Google search was for the Wiki, which already has a page solely for the year 2026. Talk about being on top of your shit. Here's what it tells us about the future (insert Wayne's World sound effects and motions here).

In the year 2026:

• New Year's Day will be on a Thursday. Yesssss! Thursdays rock!
• The Aurora Programme will send a mission to Mars. Really? Mars? That's original. Won't we be living on Mars by then? That's not going to be a very exciting mission.
• The U.S. will celebrate its 250th anniversary as an independent country. Par-tay!! Maybe by then we can clone the fore-fathers and get our groove on. I call dibbsies on John Adams!
• The southern section of the BART will connect the East Bay of California to Silicon Valley. It will make it a much easier commute for the AIs to come kill off the humans every morning. They will be very appreciative and might spare people who look like Will Smith or Tom Cruise.
• According to the TV section of 2026, if we were in an episode of SeaQuest DSV this would happen - "An economic summit takes place that places hundreds of thousands of undeveloped basins back on the market." I have no idea what the means, but if I can have a talking dolphin, I don't really care either.
• And according to Star Trek: Enterprise, World War III will begin in 2026. A date they must have gotten from Ms. Cleo, since all signs point to that shit storm starting much earlier.

Lastly, my favorite event of 2026 will be the actualization of Heinz von Foerster's "Doomsday Equation". In 1960, Foerster published an article in which he divulged a formula for future population growth. "The formula gave 2.7 billion as the 1960 world population and predicted that population growth would become infinite by Friday, November 13, 2026. " Happy Birthday to me! Awww, the end of the world! You shouldn't have!

So in pre-celebration of the apocalypse and my 45th birthday, which I will be spending on Mars with my talking pet dolphin Darwin, an AI ass-kicking Will Smith and my John Adams clone, here is a video of how I think the world will actually end. Enjoy.

Happy (Belated) Blog-Day to Me!

That's right, on Monday, October 9, 2006, Invincible Summer officially turned one year old! Who actually thought I'd still be writing in here a whole year later? Certainly not me. In leiu of the extremely long and very witty post I was writing the other day that got lost when my web browser decided to freeze up (grrrrr!), I have made a list of some of my favorite posts from the past year for you to check out.

If you are a loyal reader (aka blog stalker) I invite you to tell me what your favorites have been or, if you rather, you can tell me that mostly this blog sucks. Either type of comments will be appreciated. =) This would also be a great time for those of you who just blindly stumbled here for the first time and those who read and never comment to say "hi!". Think of it as my blog-day present.

And if you are thinking to yourself - "Hey, I read this crappy blog all the time, what do I get?", here is a gift just for you.

And on to the favorites...

Procrastinating
October 9, 2005
The post that started it all and an explanation for the name.

The Happiest Town on Earth?
October 11, 2005
Post numero dos. A rant on how 5 major media outlets own everything we see and hear, and a little town named "Celebration". Plus there's a picture of the Hamburglar.

Here's an Equation for You
October 21, 2005
Short and (not so) sweet.

I'm a Fucking Genius
November 17, 2005
I still think this is a great idea.

Evil Allison
November 23, 2005
The holidays always bring out the best in me. I like this one mostly because I am a sarcastic bitch in it and also because it's the one post I have where Jess leaves a comment. Big ups to the Bear.

Who's a Ho?
December 6, 2005
Another sarcastic gem. I feel I have gotten soft in the past year and I'm going to have to step up the sarcasm again. Time to have a Lewis Blackathon.

CLR Tribute
January 3, 2006
Love to my girls.

Things I (Still) Miss
February 9, 2006
Life is sad when you don't have a job.

Why I (Still) Love Heather Gould
March 30, 2006
This just has to be reposted for anyone else who graduated in 2004.

The FCC Can Derelicte My Balls
April 1, 2006
I just realized I did this post on April Fool's day. Maybe that was Comedy Central's joke to us - bleeping out "balls". Hehe, yea Bevis, you said balls.

Summer
July 16, 2006
I chose this one because it goes with the blog theme and I actually still like what I wrote. Usually with poems, I go back a month later and hate it. Also, I realized I had 10 favorites listed and decided that a top 10 list is SO overdone. So that was my top 11 list.

Take that David Letterman!


Thanks for reading folks (all 5 of you).

someone IMed me this link today:

http://www.paulsadowski.com/birthday.asp

it is one of those sites where you put in your birthdate and they give you a whole sheet about you and things that happened on your birthdate and birth year.

it also told me this about myself:

"Of unusual beauty, does not want to impress, well-developed sense of justice, vivacious, interested, a born diplomat, but irritable and sensitive in company, often due to a lack of self-confidence, acts sometimes superior, feels not understood, loves only once, has difficulties in finding a partner."

crap that's accurate, except the first part (Oh, wait, there's my "lack of self-confidence"). actually, come to think of it, it does say "unusual" and not "immense" or "breathtaking," so i guess that could be right too.

i also found out that Rachel Bilson (The OC) and i have the exact same birthdate, same year and everything. guess that's really not that interesting to anyone but me. but i guess none of this is. haha. oh, well.

selective memory

last night i forgot how old i was. no, not in an "i did something really immature" kind of forgetting, i actually forgot. how. old. i. was. (the excessive punctuation is for emphasis of how. stupid. i. am.). someone on TV said how old they were or something about age and i could not remember whether i am 23 or 24. and since no one was around to ask, i literally had to think to myself "ok, i turned 21 during junior year, so i was 22 senior year, 23 last year, so now i'm 24." it seems like forgetting your age is something older people do, or like to do, but forgetting it in your 20s kind of scares me. well, not really. it's just the strangest feeling ever.

i guess all these years feel kind of the same. there's no more exciting birthdays like sweet 16, cigarettes and porn 18 and drunken 21. and if the next "milestone" birthday is 30, bring on the amnesia! cause you can shove that birthday right up your ass. have i mentioned i'm going to New Orleans for that one? nothing says "i'm not 30!" like drinking cheap beer from a plastic cup on the street. at the very least, by 9pm i won't even remember my name, never mind my age.

it's my birthday yay!

absolutely the best birthday weekend ever:

free food at work, beckysue, alicia, GUSTER, jesus on the radio unplugged, breakfast with steph, showing beckysue boston, the sad jack 'o lantern, pottery barn story time and sing along, light saber fight, cheesecake factory, birthday gin, the peter griffin bump, erin's dance grooves, jake ivorys, brick house dance, crazy COM kids, double fisting G&Ts, can't touch me, mac and cheese, masachusetts: you're more likely to live here (x3), the airport, my parents and nicole, legal seafood, "remember when you used to be afraid of parades?", "i'm a fucking genius", napoleon dynamite flip book and new family guy.

love to everyone who made this weekend a blast. i couldn't have asked for more fun and more friends to share my birthday with. thanks also to those who called to wish me a happy day, i wish you could have been here celebrating. next time! =)