I couldn't make this up if I tried

This morning I opened up my email inbox to find an email titled: "Invitation to Join MLB Bloggers." My first thought was, "Hey cool, a blogging group might be fun!" Then I read the email and laughed more than I thought humanly possible at 9am on a cold, snowy work day.

Dear blog author:

We recently came across your site, invinciblesummer13.blogspot.com, while searching for bloggers who blog about Major League Baseball.

That's really all you need to read. If you know me, you are already laughing. If you don't know me, please refer to the ONLY post I've ever written that has to do with baseball: a man in uniform.

Now, if you're not into sports as much as I clearly am, you may not realize that the picture I linked to in that post is not even a real baseball player! True story. It's actually David Duchovny in an episode of The X-Files (*sigh, baseball spooning*). And if you didn't know that, we can't be friends.

So, in conclusion, a note to Craig Cantin at MLB Bloggers:

I wish you all the luck with your blogging group and I am quite flattered by the (obviously) personally tailored invitation I received. However, it is with deep regret that I must decline your offer. I just don't see us as a very good match at this time, unless you want me to blog about hot guys who have worn baseball uniforms but aren't in fact baseball players. If that's the case, sign me up!

Otherwise, thank you in the very least for the good laugh.

Your friend in baseball (sort of),

Allison

Michael Scott and the Paper Factory

Oompa loompa doopidy dawsome
Tonight's episode of The Office was awesome
If you do not like this show
I cannot be your friend no mo.

(Also, you are not in on this joke. Sad for you.)

Stop, Hey What's That Sound?

I hope you enjoy the newest feature on my blog. It's no iPhone, but this ain't Apple.com either.

This 'Ship Should Sail.....Far Away.....Don't Ever Come Back.....Seriously.

Somehow (not really sure how) I just came across a shipper video on YouTube that focuses on the characters of Hermione Granger and Professor Snape from the Harry Potter books/films.

I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.

Ew! That is just gross and disturbing to think about. Also, it is illegal. Ick ick ick.

The worst part (yes, it gets worse) is that there are actually more of the same out there! Come on! How many people can there be that think a fictitious (let's also keep that in mind) 13 year old should have a relationship with a (also fictitious) disturbingly dark, spiteful old guy?! Apparently too many.

If you happen to be masochistic, here's a link to the video. And don't forget to check out the similar ones in the side bar. Yippee! I couldn't even watch the whole thing it creeped me out so much.

Let this be a lesson: Just because you know how to use iMovie, doesn't mean you should.

The smartest thing a man has said about women since.......ever.

"Females are generally not encouraged by society to be super-smart, at least, not overtly. And ESPECIALLY not in the techie/geeky super-smart way.

So as a result, by the time these super-smart young girl geeks have grown up to be women, society will have managed to inject them with all sorts of serious self-esteem issues. Which rarely comes in handy in the mate-choosing department."

Ingenious theory written by hugh macleod on his blog.

The low self-esteem part of me wants to put some sort of disclaimer here that by posting this on my blog I am not implying that I'm one of those super-smart girls. But fuck it, you're damn right I am! And I will now constantly fall back on that explanation for why I can't get a date. You other super-smart women out there, feel free to do so as well.

No no, don't thank me. Thank hugh.