fat tuesday

more like fat everyday. ok, i know. "don't be so hard on yourself." blah blah blah. yea, it's time i started being harder on myself. i am definitely 20 lbs heavier than i was when i graduated college and 40 lbs heavier than i want to be. "if you lose 40 pounds you won't even be there anymore!" oh trust me, i will be. i'll probably still even wear a double digit dress size. no kidding. so, in honor of the season of lent, i am giving up ALL junk food. i'm not even catholic. but i did it during my senior year of high school and succeeded, so i sure as hell should be able to do it now that i am a much more mature version of myself. that is why, in mature adult fashion, i am posting it on my blog so that the possible embarrassment of failing this endeavor publicly will keep me away from the junk.

when i told erin, my roommate, of my plan, she wanted me to define what i meant by "junkfood", since everyone probably has a different definition. hers only includes candy and chips, that skinny bitch. (loooove you.)
however, mine will be a bit more strict and also includes:
- any snacky food with no nutritional value - cheez its, fruit snacks, granola bars with gooey stuff in them
- fast food (excluding the healthy options at subway and quiznos)
- anything fried
- nachos
- ice cream
- sweets - cookies, candy, regular soda (which i don't really drink anyway)
- mac and cheese
- chocolate
- super buttered popcorn
- chinese food except white rice and things with vegetables

I will allow myself pizza on occassion, fat-free chocolate pudding, light popcorn, diet soda, and sugar free, fat free vanilla ice cream (mostly because I have a lot left in the freezer).

so, mostly this is a diet, but i guess i'd rather see it as a goal to make it through without these things, and maybe by the end i won't want even really want them anymore. unlike sr. year of high school when lent ended while i was in spain and nicole had brought half a suitcase full of easter candy with her. when dinner is the slab of meat you just saw hanging in the window by a hook, sugared marshmallow birds look damn tasty. (p.s. isn't the Peep inside the chocolate egg such a good idea?!)

lastly, on a more serious note, i want to try to make this time not ALL about losing weight, but partially about what Lenten is for, traditionaly (and i'm not really referring to all the religious ideaology). therefore, i will also be working on feeling better about the way i look no matter what. i realize that even with weight gone it may not mean i will like myself any more.

well, wish me luck in all respects. i will keep you updated on my progress and any possible setbacks.
wow, aren't you excited?! haha.

i never promised this blog would be interesting, and my plan to keep that non-promise is going splendidly.



coming soon: "orange you happy to see me?: test-running my new self-tanner"